i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
