i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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