idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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