Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
