I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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