oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
