I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
