just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
