I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
