Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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