I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
