So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
