Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
