i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
