normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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