More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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