Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
