i don't like sucking hair
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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