i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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