She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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