I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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