Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
