I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
