I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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