I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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