He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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