I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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