Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
