I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
