This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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