Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
