Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
