dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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