remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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