Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
