i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
