Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
