Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
