Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
