Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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