i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
