i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
