just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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