How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
