i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
