New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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