If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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