I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
