I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
