So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
the raccoons are back...
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