Whod you bang
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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