Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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