**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
