you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
false alarm. still invincible.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We had sex on a dog bed..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
