the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
