So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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