I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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