This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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