Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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