end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
