I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
