everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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