im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
