yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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