I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
