she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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