Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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