The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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